The last couple days I have been letting myself get discouraged. The reason is that throughout the week I had stepped out on 3 different occasions to pray for and heal people and did not see the full manifestation of healing at that time and I believe I was letting the lies of the enemy get to me. I also would dwell on what I had not seen instead of what I had seen and thanking the Lord for that. As well, my focus was not on the fact that I was loving on some people, and regardless if they get healed or not, love never fails! (1 Cor. 13:8)
Of the three different occasions, one person felt no change at the time after commanding Dystonia and a head cold to leave his body (a new friend and brother in Christ). One felt the peace of God on her (a lady at Superstore), but was not healed of a crooked and hunched spine and broken hip. The other fellow, I got to share the gospel with in depth and talked to for a couple hours, and then got to pray for and command his leg to grow out and back again as they were of equal length. Just a tad though, maybe 1/16 of an inch, and he himself couldn't see or feel it as I guess it was to miniscule from his perspective. I had wanted to provide a miracle or sign for Him to be able to put his faith in the power of God instead of only words (1 Cor. 2:4, 1 Cor. 4:20). He did report that he had problems (arthritis) with his hip though and after some prayer, felt some relief from pain but still reported quite a bit there. So it wasn't like I wasn't seeing anything going on, but the thoughts I was having were "Why have I not been seeing the greater works Lord? What am I doing wrong? Am I doubting? Why aren't they healed right away? I am expecting right away! It seems like I am going backwards and not forwards to greater things." etc... Because of the discouragement I had let in, I had decided to stay home from ministering to people on the streets on Friday night with a group of friends I have been meeting with lately.
Well, I'm feeling better! Even though it should not be about feeling. We walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). I have been refocusing on what God has been doing and has done, and the fact that I am planting seeds and loving on people. Also, next time I will try to do as Smith Wigglesworth used to do:
Wigglesworth Quote: I never ask Smith Wigglesworth how he feels; I tell him how he feels!
In Jesus - 07-14-2012:
Today as I left my building on my way to go for a walk, I found that someone had put a nice scratch in the driver side rear door of my vehicle with what looks like a key. So, after I finished my walk I decided I would go to the Police station to report the act of vandalism as that is a requirement here when doing an insurance claim. While I was at the Police station I decided to go to a park that I hardly ever go to in that area to read my Bible and a book I had bought a while ago called Bodily Healing and the Atonement
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